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Vichekesho vya kukuondoa mawazo leo

Author/Editor: Melkisedeck Leon Shine, 2015-2017: AckySHINE.com
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Soma vichekesho hivi;

Mwizi wa atm

Jamaa aliibiwa kadi yake ya benk akaulizwa kama ameripoti polisi akajibu "sijaripoti bado, mwizi mwenyewe hamfikii matumizi kama mke wangu.

Cheka kidogo

Njia rahisi kusahau matatizo yako (japo kwa muda mfupi) vaa viatu vinavyokubana.

Mlizi mbio mbio

Tulikuwa bar moja jana mlinzi kaingia spidi, akamwambia jamaa mmoja aliyekaa kaunta, Mlinzi: Mzee gari lako limeibiwa Mzee: Umemtambua aliyeiba? Mlinzi: Hapana lakini nimeandika namba za gari hizi hapa.

13, 13…

Jamaa alikuwa anapita nje ya wodi ya vichaa akasikia mtu anasema, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,….. akaamua kuchungulia kwenye kitundu alichokiona ajue kuna nini, ile kuchungulia tu akamwagiwa mchanga wa machoni, sauti ikabadili ikaanza 14,14,14,14,14……

WATAALAM

Jamaa alikuwa anaumwa sana, mkewe akamwita daktari, alipofika akamkuta jamaa kafumba macho;
Dokta: Huyu mbona amekwisha kufa?
Jamaa: Sijafa bwana
Mke: Hebu nyamaza bwana acha kubishana na wataalamu.

Ya leo mgonjwa

Dokta alipotembelea wodi ya mgonjwa wake aliyepata ajali. Mgonjwa akiwa amening'inizwa mikono juu akauliza "dokta ntaweza kweli kupiga kinanda nkitoka hospitali?"
Dokta: Bila shaka utaweza, wewe ni mpiga kinanda mzuri enh?
Mgonjwa: Hapana sijawahi kabisa bado.

4WD

Mwanaume alimnunulia pete ya almasi mkewe, rafiki akauliza "si ulisema anapenda gari yenye four wheel drive, mbona umenunua pete?" Mume akajibu "unadhani wapi ntapata rav4 feki?"

Ajali ilivyotokea

Trafiki polisi akihoji palipotokea ajali "ahaa! Sasa naanza elewa embu nielezee jinsi ajali ilivyotokea wewe ukiwa kama dereva mhusika." Dereva akajibu "hata sikumbuki nlifumba macho"

Faini ya kukojoa

Polisi alimdaka jamaa anakojoa pembezoni mwa ukuta.
Polisi: Wewe unajua panakatazwa kukojoa hapa?
Jamaa: Sasa nimebanwa nifanyaje?
Polisi: Faini yake elfu tano.
Jamaa akatoa noti ya elfu 10.
Polisi: Sasa chenji tunaipataje?
Jamaa: Tafuta chenji unipe changu.
Polisi: Basi kojoa tena…

Mume anaenda kazini

Jamaa kaamka asubuhi sana Jumamosi, mvua inanyesha kang'ang'ania kuwa anaenda ofisini. Kawasha gari yake, kufika njiani hali ilikuwa mbaya kaamua kurudi. Kafika home kavua nguo kaingia tena kitandani, kamnong'oneza mkewe aliyekuwa usingizini; "Yaani hali ya hewa huko nje mbaya sana" Mke: Si ndio nimemshangaa huyu mpumbavu eti kaenda kazini…

Hasira za mtoto

Baba na mtoto:
Baba: Mwanangu ukiwa na hasira unafanya nini?
Mtoto: Naenda chooni.
Baba: Chooni? Kufanya nini?
Mtoto: Kusafisha.
Baba: Halafu ndio hasira zinaisha?
Mtoto: Ndio. Nasafisha choo kwa mswaki wako.

Mgonjwa na Dokta

Mgonjwa: Dokta nimekuja nahisi ninaumwa Malaria na kifua.
Dokta: Sasa ushajua unaumwa nini hapa umefuata nini kwangu?
Mgonjwa: Sasa si nimekuja kwa dokta.
Dokta: Wanaojua kuwa wanaumwa kama wewe wanapitiliza maabara.

Pilau la bachela

Bachela mmoja aliyekua akiishi kwa muda mrefu peke yake kwenye nyumba aliyopanga siku moja alitaka kupika pilau kwa mara ya kwanza. Sasa asijue nini kinachobadilisha rangi ya wali kuwa rangi ya brown, yeye akapika kama kawaida (wali) kisha wakati wa kula akavaa miwani yenye rangi ambayo ukiuangalia wali unauona kama pilau wakati anakula.

Mwizi na chizi

Mwizi kaiba TV na kuanza kukimbia nayo, kumbe ile nyumba mlikuwa na chizi, akaanza kumkimbiza yule mwizi. Kila mwizi akiongeza mbio chizi nae huyo, mwishowe mwizi akasalimu amri na kusimama, yule chizi akamsogelea na kumwambia.. Daah umesahau remote hii hapa mwizi kafleti.

Chemsha bongo

Baba akimuuliza chemsha bongo mwanae anayesoma shule ya chekechea "haya niambie kitu gani hakiwezi kuliwa wakati wa breakfast?" Mtoto akajibu "hiyo mbona rahisi baba, si lunch na dinner"

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Comments

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Ann Wambui (Guest) on June 11, 2019

Hii imenifurahisha hadi nacheka kwa sauti! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Selemani (Guest) on May 23, 2019

πŸ˜‚ Nimeipenda kabisa hii!

Abubakari (Guest) on May 15, 2019

🀣 Nalia kwa kicheko kweli!

Sarafina (Guest) on May 12, 2019

Brilliant! Muda wake ulikuwa kamili! ⏰

David Nyerere (Guest) on May 10, 2019

πŸ˜…πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on May 3, 2019

Hii imenikuna sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜…

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on April 20, 2019

😊🀣πŸ”₯

Benjamin Kibicho (Guest) on April 20, 2019

Kweli mna ucheshi wa kipekee! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on April 2, 2019

πŸ˜‚ Nacheka hadi nalia!

John Mwangi (Guest) on March 26, 2019

Hizi jokes ni za ukweli! πŸ˜†πŸ‘

Patrick Mutua (Guest) on March 20, 2019

πŸ˜† Siwezi kuacha kucheka!

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on March 15, 2019

Nimeipenda hii joke! πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚

Sofia (Guest) on January 28, 2019

Hii kichekesho inastahili tuzo! πŸ†

Stephen Amollo (Guest) on December 30, 2018

Ucheshi wenu ni wa hali ya juu! πŸ‘πŸ€£

Jamila (Guest) on November 12, 2018

πŸ˜… Bado nacheka!

Mercy Atieno (Guest) on November 9, 2018

Hii imenifurahisha sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

George Mallya (Guest) on November 4, 2018

Hii imenichekesha sana! πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚

Emily Chepngeno (Guest) on October 10, 2018

Hii imenifurahisha kweli! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Nancy Komba (Guest) on September 23, 2018

πŸ˜† Naihifadhi hii!

Mary Kendi (Guest) on September 12, 2018

Hii imenigonga vizuri, punchline gani! πŸ˜†

David Nyerere (Guest) on September 4, 2018

Hii kichekesho itaingia moja kwa moja kwenye vipendwa vyangu! πŸ˜‚

Grace Mligo (Guest) on August 27, 2018

Nilikuwa na siku mbaya hadi niliposoma hii! πŸ˜…

Joyce Mussa (Guest) on August 24, 2018

🀣 Ujuzi wa hali ya juu!

Violet Mumo (Guest) on August 7, 2018

Sikutarajia hiyo punchlineβ€”kichekesho! 🀣

Miriam Mchome (Guest) on July 23, 2018

Hizi jokes zinabamba sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Philip Nyaga (Guest) on July 12, 2018

Ucheshi wenu unanifurahisha sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Charles Mboje (Guest) on June 23, 2018

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜„πŸ˜†

Sarah Achieng (Guest) on June 20, 2018

πŸ˜ƒ Hali imeboreshwa papo hapo!

Sarah Achieng (Guest) on June 13, 2018

Hii ni joke ya kipekee sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Abdillah (Guest) on May 27, 2018

πŸ˜† Ninaihifadhi kwa baadaye!

Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 24, 2018

Hii ni ya kufurahisha! πŸ˜„πŸ˜…

Susan Wangari (Guest) on May 14, 2018

Ucheshi wenu ni wa hali ya juu sana! πŸ‘πŸ€£

John Malisa (Guest) on May 3, 2018

Hii ni bomba sana! πŸ€£πŸ‘

Grace Mligo (Guest) on April 27, 2018

Hii kichekesho imenifurahisha sanaβ€”imebamba! 🀣

Joseph Kitine (Guest) on April 24, 2018

Hii imenipa kicheko cha siku! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜†

Charles Wafula (Guest) on April 8, 2018

Nimecheka hadi nimesahau shida zangu! πŸ€£πŸ˜†

Miriam Mchome (Guest) on March 26, 2018

Wow, hizi kichekesho ni dhahabu kabisa! πŸ’°

Wande (Guest) on March 16, 2018

Nitaeleza hii kwa marafiki zangu bila shaka! πŸ˜„

Sharon Kibiru (Guest) on January 25, 2018

Hii imenipa kicheko cha siku! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on January 19, 2018

Hii ni dhahabu ya vichekesho! πŸ˜„

Mjaka (Guest) on January 9, 2018

πŸ˜‚ Siwezi kusubiri kushiriki hii!

Ann Awino (Guest) on December 29, 2017

😁 Imeongezwa kwenye vipendwa!

Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on October 24, 2017

πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Anna Mchome (Guest) on October 5, 2017

Kweli mnajua kuchekesha watu! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

George Tenga (Guest) on September 18, 2017

🀣 Sikutarajia hiyo!

Mercy Atieno (Guest) on September 9, 2017

πŸ˜‚ Ninaituma hii kwa kila mtu ninayemjua!

Leila (Guest) on September 6, 2017

πŸ˜‚ Nalia kwa kweli hapa!

Michael Mboya (Guest) on September 4, 2017

πŸ˜ƒ Hali imeboreshwa papo hapo!

Mazrui (Guest) on August 26, 2017

🀣 Ninashiriki hii na kila mtu!

Samson Mahiga (Guest) on August 25, 2017

Napenda jinsi mnavyofikiria! πŸ€”πŸ˜†

Susan Wangari (Guest) on August 24, 2017

Hii kichekesho ilikuwa bora! Nimeipenda! 🎯

Alice Jebet (Guest) on July 26, 2017

Hii kichekesho ni ya kuhifadhi bila shaka! 😁

Samson Tibaijuka (Guest) on July 23, 2017

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on July 5, 2017

πŸ˜… Nilihitaji hii!

Josephine Nduta (Guest) on June 13, 2017

Haha, mbavu zangu zinauma kwa kucheka sana! 🀣

Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on June 4, 2017

πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜„

Victor Kimario (Guest) on May 27, 2017

Huyu mtu ni mcheshi sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on May 12, 2017

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Jackson Makori (Guest) on May 11, 2017

πŸ˜‚ Hii ni kali sana!

Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 8, 2017

πŸ˜… Bado ninacheka!

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