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What happened to the man who stole a calendar from the store?

Author/Editor: Melkisedeck Leon Shine, 2015-2017: AckySHINE.com
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Short answer: He got twelve months!

Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! 🤣📆

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Elizabeth Mrema (Guest) on March 8, 2020

How do you make a squid laugh? With ten-tickles! 🦑😂

Miriam Mchome (Guest) on March 6, 2020

I don’t care what the question is. The answer is pizza. 🍕🤤

Baraka (Guest) on March 2, 2020

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 🍇🍷

Chiku (Guest) on February 26, 2020

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools! 🐠🏫

Jafari (Guest) on February 26, 2020

Don’t make me adult today. 😬🧸

Anna Malela (Guest) on February 25, 2020

Why was the math book always confused? It couldn’t figure anything out! 📘🤷‍♂️

Amani (Guest) on February 22, 2020

😅 I’m still chuckling at this!

Sofia (Guest) on January 3, 2020

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. 🌞🌙

Saidi (Guest) on January 1, 2020

🤣 This joke is just too good!

Amir (Guest) on December 31, 2019

Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish! 🐟🎹

David Musyoka (Guest) on December 27, 2019

I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow. ⏰😂

Monica Adhiambo (Guest) on December 18, 2019

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️

Alice Mrema (Guest) on December 16, 2019

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it. 🍷😎

Victor Sokoine (Guest) on November 24, 2019

This joke deserves an award! 🏆

Betty Kimaro (Guest) on November 22, 2019

🤣 Sending this now!

John Malisa (Guest) on November 18, 2019

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time. 🧠🎧

Alice Jebet (Guest) on November 16, 2019

😄 Totally didn’t see that coming!

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on November 3, 2019

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯😜

Amina (Guest) on November 1, 2019

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s popcorn? 🌽🍿

Mhina (Guest) on October 27, 2019

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. 🥃😂

John Kamande (Guest) on October 10, 2019

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕🦜

Janet Mbithe (Guest) on October 9, 2019

😁 This just made my day!

Nora Lowassa (Guest) on October 6, 2019

If at first, you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you in the beginning. 👩‍👧🤷‍♂️

John Lissu (Guest) on September 29, 2019

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! 💵❄️

Selemani (Guest) on September 28, 2019

I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing. 🏋️‍♂️😆

Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on September 8, 2019

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. 😁🦷

Simon Kiprono (Guest) on September 5, 2019

Some people wake up looking fabulous. I wake up looking for my phone. 📱😴

Patrick Akech (Guest) on August 26, 2019

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 🤷‍♂️🤔

Francis Njeru (Guest) on August 25, 2019

I am on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days. 📅🍔

David Nyerere (Guest) on August 19, 2019

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 😬🧸

Philip Nyaga (Guest) on August 14, 2019

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 💑🤣

Mary Njeri (Guest) on August 1, 2019

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired! 🚴‍♀️😴

Saidi (Guest) on July 28, 2019

I finally figured out what I want to be when I get older... younger! 😆👶

Sekela (Guest) on July 14, 2019

Wine is to women as duct tape is to men—it fixes everything. 🍷😂

Kazija (Guest) on July 9, 2019

Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish! 🥜🐙

Hamida (Guest) on July 1, 2019

😃 Mood instantly lifted!

Agnes Njeri (Guest) on June 29, 2019

I’m not saying I’m Batman, but you’ve never seen us in the same room together. 🦸‍♂️🦇

Safiya (Guest) on June 29, 2019

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃‍♂️

Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on June 25, 2019

When nothing goes right, go left. ⬅️🧭

Nchi (Guest) on June 15, 2019

I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it. 🤪⏳

Victor Kimario (Guest) on June 12, 2019

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 😴💤

John Lissu (Guest) on June 9, 2019

What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business! 🌶️🤭

Zawadi (Guest) on June 1, 2019

Why can’t you trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something! 🛗🤔

Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on May 28, 2019

I don’t need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 🛏️💇‍♂️

Kahina (Guest) on May 17, 2019

Why don’t koalas make great detectives? They’re terrible at following koal-ifications! 🐨🕵️‍♂️

Rahim (Guest) on May 11, 2019

😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!

Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on May 5, 2019

Why don’t skeletons go to scary movies? They don’t have the guts! 💀🎬

Juma (Guest) on May 4, 2019

Why was the math teacher always so suspicious? She knew something didn’t add up! ➕🤨

Nancy Komba (Guest) on April 26, 2019

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam! 🐠🚧

Victor Kamau (Guest) on April 11, 2019

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just on a procrastination break. ⏳🙃

Rose Lowassa (Guest) on April 9, 2019

I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger. ❤️🍔

Bakari (Guest) on April 7, 2019

😄 I can’t even breathe, so funny!

Richard Mulwa (Guest) on March 31, 2019

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crumby! 🍪🏥

Vincent Mwangangi (Guest) on March 22, 2019

If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. 🍋👁️

Alice Jebet (Guest) on March 20, 2019

I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle. 🧍‍♀️🔵

Peter Mwambui (Guest) on February 24, 2019

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing. 😎👩‍💼

Betty Kimaro (Guest) on February 22, 2019

😆 I’m literally in stitches right now!

Raphael Okoth (Guest) on February 14, 2019

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 🛏️💭

Mwajuma (Guest) on January 29, 2019

I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on January 27, 2019

I didn’t see that punchline coming—hilarious! 🤣

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