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Elizabeth Mtei
Guest
Jan 9, 2016
I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. 🏝️🕶️
👥
John Lissu
Guest
Jan 8, 2016
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 💑🤣
👥
Janet Mwikali
Guest
Jan 3, 2016
I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. I’m just glad it’s not a shot glass. 🥃🍹
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Habiba
Guest
Jan 3, 2016
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. 🤷♂️😆
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Maulid
Guest
Jan 2, 2016
I'd exercise, but it makes me spill my coffee. ☕🏃♂️
👥
Abubakar
Guest
Jan 1, 2016
If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at people who are annoying. 🍋😂
👥
Carol Nyakio
Guest
Dec 31, 2015
I’ve started using my kids as weights. That counts as working out, right? 🏋️♂️👶
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Nancy Akumu
Guest
Nov 25, 2015
I’m not saying I’m Batman, but you’ve never seen us in the same room together. 🦸♂️🦇
👥
Mariam Kawawa
Guest
Nov 25, 2015
I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long. 🤷♂️😂
👥
Anna Kibwana
Guest
Nov 24, 2015
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is? 🍫❓
👥
Latifa
Guest
Nov 16, 2015
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️♂️
👥
Monica Adhiambo
Guest
Nov 12, 2015
How do you make a squid laugh? With ten-tickles! 🦑😂
👥
Victor Kamau
Guest
Nov 8, 2015
What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! 🎹🍌
👥
Catherine Mkumbo
Guest
Nov 1, 2015
Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because they’re transparent! 👻🤥
👥
Ruth Kibona
Guest
Oct 31, 2015
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😲👀
👥
Fredrick Mutiso
Guest
Oct 25, 2015
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball! 👠⚽
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Bahati
Guest
Oct 20, 2015
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry. 💸😭
👥
Omar
Guest
Oct 20, 2015
You know you’re getting old when your candles cost more than your cake. 🎂🔥
👥
Rabia
Guest
Oct 18, 2015
I love naps. Like, I literally love them. They make me feel better about wasting the day. 😴🛏️
👥
Hashim
Guest
Oct 16, 2015
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💰
👥
Francis Mtangi
Guest
Oct 15, 2015
My dream job would be the karma delivery person. 🚚😈
👥
Stephen Kangethe
Guest
Oct 10, 2015
This is the kind of joke you don’t forget! 😂
👥
Elizabeth Malima
Guest
Oct 8, 2015
I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food. 🍔💻
👥
Ruth Wanjiku
Guest
Oct 5, 2015
I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️♂️🤏
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Baraka
Guest
Sep 30, 2015
😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!
👥
Francis Mrope
Guest
Sep 26, 2015
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. ⏳😂
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Peter Tibaijuka
Guest
Sep 20, 2015
😆 Saving this one!
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Grace Mushi
Guest
Sep 20, 2015
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R, but it be the C! 🏴☠️🌊
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Hashim
Guest
Sep 17, 2015
😂 Can't stop laughing!
👥
Maneno
Guest
Sep 15, 2015
I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? 😏🤔
👥
Mwagonda
Guest
Sep 11, 2015
What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory! 🐍📚
👥
Alice Mrema
Guest
Aug 20, 2015
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! 🐑🦘
👥
Mwanais
Guest
Aug 18, 2015
Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert? To reach the high notes! 🎶🎵
👥
Rashid
Guest
Aug 15, 2015
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗
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Latifa
Guest
Aug 14, 2015
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃♂️
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Rabia
Guest
Jul 30, 2015
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. 📖💼
👥
Tambwe
Guest
Jul 26, 2015
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 🚗💵
👥
Brian Karanja
Guest
Jul 26, 2015
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 🍇🍷
👥
Hawa
Guest
Jul 14, 2015
I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring. 🧘♂️😆
👥
Stephen Malecela
Guest
Jul 11, 2015
I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. 🍔😆
👥
Jacob Kiplangat
Guest
Jul 3, 2015
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 💼💸
👥
Halima
Guest
Jul 2, 2015
I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee. ☕📖
👥
Juma
Guest
Jun 29, 2015
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! 🐑🐝
👥
Moses Kipkemboi
Guest
Jun 9, 2015
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. 😅🏖️
👥
Victor Sokoine
Guest
Jun 5, 2015
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. 🤔💬
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeño business! 🌶️🤭
👥
Sarah Mbise
Guest
May 30, 2015
Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they don’t have chairs! 🐔🥚
👥
Athumani
Guest
May 28, 2015
Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping! 😴💤
👥
Esther Cheruiyot
Guest
May 23, 2015
I'm not lazy; I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😆
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Frank Macha
Guest
May 18, 2015
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯🤪
👥
Salma
Guest
May 17, 2015
If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴
👥
Salum
Guest
May 9, 2015
Running late is my cardio. 🕒🏃♀️
I need six months of vacation, twice a year. 🏖️😂
👥
Fadhila
Guest
Apr 7, 2015
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗
👥
Jane Muthui
Guest
Apr 5, 2015
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too. 💄😜
👥
Bahati
Guest
Apr 2, 2015
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. 🪑✋
👥
Mary Kidata
Guest
Apr 1, 2015
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is 'act natural, you’re innocent.' 🏬😅
👥
Mjaka
Guest
Mar 28, 2015
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! 🤧💃
👥
Anthony Kariuki
Guest
Mar 28, 2015
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza. 🍕🤷♂️
