Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! π€£π
Daniel Obura (Guest) on March 6, 2021
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court? Odor in the court! π¦¨βοΈ
Furaha (Guest) on March 2, 2021
Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead. π§ββοΈπ
Rukia (Guest) on February 28, 2021
π€£ Brilliant joke!
Abubakar (Guest) on February 22, 2021
π Iβm completely obsessed with this!
Charles Mrope (Guest) on February 18, 2021
I had my patience tested. Iβm negative. πβ³
Mwalimu (Guest) on February 15, 2021
Why did the musician bring a ladder to the concert? To reach the high notes! πΆπ΅
Hawa (Guest) on February 14, 2021
I'd exercise, but it makes me spill my coffee. βπββοΈ
Ruth Mtangi (Guest) on February 14, 2021
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him! ππΊ
Lydia Wanyama (Guest) on February 12, 2021
Iβm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time. π§π€
Mtumwa (Guest) on January 22, 2021
The only thing better than talking about food is eating it. ππ΄
Rose Mwinuka (Guest) on December 31, 2020
Whatβs the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream! π£πΊ
Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on December 29, 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! βπ
Binti (Guest) on December 18, 2020
I like long walksβespecially when theyβre taken by people who annoy me. πΆββοΈπ
Samuel Were (Guest) on December 17, 2020
If life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at people who are annoying. ππ
Joseph Kiwanga (Guest) on December 12, 2020
I donβt make mistakes. I date them. ππ
Patrick Kidata (Guest) on December 1, 2020
Iβm not clumsy. Itβs just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. πποΈ
Makame (Guest) on November 21, 2020
I always give 100% at workβ12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday... π π
Nora Kidata (Guest) on November 10, 2020
π This is too funny!
Ruth Mtangi (Guest) on November 7, 2020
π€£ Didnβt see it coming!
Patrick Kidata (Guest) on October 29, 2020
Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you canβt laugh at yourself, call meβIβll laugh at you. π€£π
Ruth Kibona (Guest) on October 18, 2020
Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal! π³π¦·
Rose Amukowa (Guest) on October 16, 2020
Whatβs a pirateβs favorite exercise? The plank! π΄ββ οΈπ¦΅
George Mallya (Guest) on October 9, 2020
Why donβt we ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? π±π°
Diana Mumbua (Guest) on October 4, 2020
Why did the phone break up with the charger? It couldnβt handle the power struggle! π±π
Patrick Akech (Guest) on October 4, 2020
Why do chickens sit on eggs? Because they donβt have chairs! ππ₯
Grace Njuguna (Guest) on September 19, 2020
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns donβt work! ππ
David Musyoka (Guest) on September 10, 2020
Why donβt we tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears! π½π
Patrick Mutua (Guest) on August 28, 2020
Why donβt eggs tell jokes? Theyβd crack each other up! π₯π€£
Issa (Guest) on August 27, 2020
Brilliant! The timing was perfect! β°
Warda (Guest) on August 26, 2020
Whatβs a pirateβs favorite vegetable? Arrrrtichoke! π΄ββ οΈπ₯¬
Nora Kidata (Guest) on August 24, 2020
π You got me good!
Joyce Nkya (Guest) on August 19, 2020
I love sleep because itβs like a time machine to breakfast. ποΈπ₯
Mwajabu (Guest) on August 17, 2020
Donβt you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. π€
John Malisa (Guest) on August 14, 2020
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry. πΈπ
Mwachumu (Guest) on August 8, 2020
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! π»π¬
Rose Lowassa (Guest) on August 6, 2020
π Bookmarking this!
Victor Kimario (Guest) on August 1, 2020
What did the farmer say after losing his tractor? Whereβs my tractor? ππ€·ββοΈ
Philip Nyaga (Guest) on July 21, 2020
I canβt believe I forgot to go to the gym today. Thatβs seven years in a row now. ποΈββοΈπ
Grace Majaliwa (Guest) on July 4, 2020
Whatβs a pigβs favorite karate move? The pork chop! π·π₯
Sultan (Guest) on June 18, 2020
My goal this weekend is to move just enough so people know Iβm not dead. ποΈπ
George Tenga (Guest) on June 17, 2020
I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once. π§π€
Irene Akoth (Guest) on June 7, 2020
π€£ Sharing this right now!
Joyce Mussa (Guest) on June 2, 2020
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat. π§ββοΈπ
Amani (Guest) on May 27, 2020
Why do they call it 'beauty sleep' when you wake up looking like a troll? π΄πΉ
Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on May 21, 2020
I spend my whole day thinking about food and then I wonder why Iβm gaining weight. ππ
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on May 21, 2020
I like to pretend my dog understands me better than most humans. ππ¬
Edward Lowassa (Guest) on May 18, 2020
I always carry a pen in my pocket, just in case someone gives me their autograph... on a check. βοΈπ°
Neema (Guest) on May 15, 2020
π Added to my favorites!
Maulid (Guest) on April 28, 2020
Money canβt buy happiness, but it can buy pizza, which is kind of the same thing. ππΈ
Monica Lissu (Guest) on April 26, 2020
π Iβm seriously crying over here!
Halima (Guest) on April 20, 2020
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks! ππ₯
Nashon (Guest) on April 8, 2020
Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many issues with time! π°οΈποΈ
Amani (Guest) on March 30, 2020
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! βπ§ββοΈ
Mary Kidata (Guest) on March 29, 2020
Why donβt lobsters ever share? Theyβre too shellfish! π¦π ββοΈ
Muslima (Guest) on March 26, 2020
I havenβt even gone to bed yet, and I already canβt wait to come home from work tomorrow. ππ
Robert Okello (Guest) on March 25, 2020
Iβm not arguing, Iβm just explaining why Iβm right. π€·ββοΈπ
Khatib (Guest) on March 24, 2020
π Instant mood boost!
Janet Wambura (Guest) on March 15, 2020
Why donβt vampires like garlic? Itβs a pain in the neck! π§ββοΈπ§
Samson Mahiga (Guest) on March 10, 2020
I love my computer because my friends live in it. π»π
Stephen Mushi (Guest) on March 9, 2020
This joke is a keeper for sure! π