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What happened to the man who stole a calendar from the store?

Author/Editor: Melkisedeck Leon Shine, 2015-2017: AckySHINE.com
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Short answer: He got twelve months!

Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! 🤣📆

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👥 Chris Okello Guest Jan 17, 2019
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
👥 Tabu Guest Jan 15, 2019
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗
👥 Raphael Okoth Guest Dec 27, 2018
What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚
👥 Faith Kariuki Guest Dec 22, 2018
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! 🥕🐰👓
👥 Husna Guest Dec 4, 2018
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. ⏳😂
👥 Mwanaidha Guest Nov 18, 2018
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️
👥 Issack Guest Nov 15, 2018
🤣 This one’s fire!
👥 Aziza Guest Nov 14, 2018
There’s no 'we' in fries. 🍟🤨
👥 Edith Cherotich Guest Nov 3, 2018
My bank account is like a waterfall. Just constant flow... of money going away. 💸🏞️
👥 Joyce Aoko Guest Oct 25, 2018
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂💤
👥 Elizabeth Mrope Guest Oct 22, 2018
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience! 🥒🥒
👥 Mwanaisha Guest Oct 13, 2018
Thanks Ackyshine
👥 Agnes Njeri Guest Oct 4, 2018
They say 'don’t try this at home,' so I’m coming over to your house to try it. 🚶‍♂️🏡
👥 Salma Guest Oct 3, 2018
The road to success is always under construction. 🚧🏗️
👥 Bernard Oduor Guest Sep 30, 2018
If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 🛌💬
👥 Mercy Atieno Guest Sep 22, 2018
It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. 😜😎
👥 Miriam Mchome Guest Sep 6, 2018
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️
👥 Agnes Njeri Guest Sep 4, 2018
To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. 💼🤣
👥 Mary Kidata Guest Sep 2, 2018
Monday should be optional. 😴⏳
👥 Victor Kimario Guest Aug 19, 2018
I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 🛌😬
👥 David Kawawa Guest Aug 19, 2018
I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 🙄💬
👥 Jamila Guest Aug 14, 2018
What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops! 🐸🍭
👥 Nuru Guest Aug 14, 2018
Why are pirates great singers? Because they can hit the high Cs! 🏴‍☠️🎶
👥 Elizabeth Mtei Guest Aug 11, 2018
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪
👥 Robert Okello Guest Aug 10, 2018
😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!
👥 Lucy Kimotho Guest Aug 2, 2018
If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙
👥 George Ndungu Guest Aug 2, 2018
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut! 🐿️🌰
👥 Shabani Guest Jul 24, 2018
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! 🌋❤️
👥 John Malisa Guest Jul 17, 2018
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅
👥 Robert Ndunguru Guest Jul 17, 2018
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! 🐑🦘
👥 Joyce Mussa Guest Jul 6, 2018
What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories! 📚🏢
👥 Mwanahawa Guest Jul 1, 2018
I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be caffeinated. ☕😆
👥 Simon Kiprono Guest Jun 28, 2018
Life is too short to remove USB safely. 🔌💻
👥 Bahati Guest Jun 8, 2018
Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy being fabulous. 📞😎
👥 Mary Mrope Guest Jun 3, 2018
Life is too short to wear boring socks. 🧦🎉
👥 Nancy Komba Guest May 24, 2018
I run like the winded. 🏃‍♂️💨
👥 Charles Mrope Guest May 16, 2018
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words. 👊💬
👥 Fatuma Guest May 10, 2018
Why did the watch break up with the clock? It found someone better for the time being! ⏰💔
👥 Janet Mwikali Guest May 3, 2018
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. 😜🛡️
👥 Betty Akinyi Guest Apr 25, 2018
I run like the winded. 🏃‍♀️😮‍💨
👥 Mgeni Guest Apr 21, 2018
I’d give up sarcasm, but that leaves me speechless. 😏🤐
👥 Amina Guest Apr 17, 2018
Sleep is my drug... my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police. 🛏️😴
👥 Jafari Guest Apr 11, 2018
This is pure comedy gold! 😄
👥 Mustafa Guest Apr 9, 2018
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. 💖🍕
👥 Mzee Guest Apr 5, 2018
Just what I needed today! Thank you! 😜
👥 Mary Sokoine Guest Apr 2, 2018
I’m not weird; I’m limited edition. 😜🦄
👥 Mwanakhamis Guest Mar 15, 2018
I love long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me. 🚶‍♂️😜
👥 Grace Njuguna Guest Mar 10, 2018
My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. 📝🤯
👥 Mary Mrope Guest Mar 8, 2018
😂 I’m sending this to everyone I know!
👥 Catherine Mkumbo Guest Feb 1, 2018
Haha! I couldn't stop laughing at this one! 🤣
👥 Nahida Guest Jan 22, 2018
If you can’t handle me at my worst, just wait. It gets worse. 😂🤯
👥 Dorothy Nkya Guest Jan 11, 2018
I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, let’s see what happens'. 🤷‍♂️🤭
👥 Abubakari Guest Jan 10, 2018
Calories don’t count if you eat with friends. 🍰👯‍♂️
👥 Jamila Guest Dec 24, 2017
If lying was a job, I'd be on a Forbes list by now. 😇📝
👥 Monica Adhiambo Guest Dec 16, 2017
Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates! 📅🛋️
👥 Betty Kimaro Guest Dec 14, 2017
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. 💵🚶‍♂️
👥 Grace Njuguna Guest Dec 10, 2017
😂 Gotta save this!
👥 Mashaka Guest Dec 4, 2017
I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter. 🍫💪
👥 David Ochieng Guest Dec 3, 2017
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine! 🍇🍷
👥 George Wanjala Guest Dec 2, 2017
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️‍♂️

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