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What dies but never lives?

Author/Editor: Melkisedeck Leon Shine, 2015-2017: AckySHINE.com
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What dies but never lives? A battery! 🔋

Explanation: A battery is a funny answer to this riddle because it eventually dies out of power, but it never actually lived or had a life in the first place. Plus, we all know the frustration of a dead battery when we need it the most! 😄🔋

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Comments 611

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👥 Martin Otieno Guest Jan 21, 2017
Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze! 🐟🌊
👥 Benjamin Masanja Guest Jan 17, 2017
I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏
👥 Baridi Guest Jan 14, 2017
I’m on a 24-hour coffee break. ☕⏳
👥 Mary Njeri Guest Jan 11, 2017
Wow, this joke is a total winner! 🏆
👥 James Malima Guest Jan 7, 2017
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him! 💀🕺
👥 Edwin Ndambuki Guest Jan 4, 2017
Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets! 💸🍹
👥 Ramadhan Guest Dec 30, 2016
I have too many apps on my phone, but there’s no app to keep track of them. 📱😆
👥 Paul Ndomba Guest Dec 17, 2016
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. ☕❤️
👥 Joyce Mussa Guest Dec 17, 2016
I’ve got to remember this one for later! 😆
👥 Fredrick Mutiso Guest Dec 7, 2016
Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my phone while I’m talking on it. 📱🤦‍♀️
👥 Grace Minja Guest Dec 2, 2016
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯😜
👥 Michael Onyango Guest Dec 1, 2016
I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing. 😎👩‍💼
👥 Ahmed Guest Nov 26, 2016
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️
👥 Joseph Mallya Guest Nov 19, 2016
😄 You totally won the internet today!
👥 Wande Guest Oct 28, 2016
Why does cooking take six hours, but eating takes like three seconds? ⏲️🍽️
👥 Sharifa Guest Oct 26, 2016
What kind of dog can tell time? A watch dog! 🐕⏰
👥 Hamida Guest Oct 15, 2016
Dear math, I’m not a therapist. Solve your own problems. 📚🤯
👥 Josephine Nekesa Guest Oct 5, 2016
🤣 This one’s fire!
👥 Jacob Kiplangat Guest Oct 4, 2016
I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 💔😂
👥 Nicholas Wanjohi Guest Oct 4, 2016
I’m on the gin and tonic diet. So far, I’ve lost two days. 🍸😂
👥 Patrick Kidata Guest Oct 3, 2016
😄 Pure comedy gold!
👥 Salma Guest Oct 2, 2016
I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, let’s see what happens'. 🤷‍♂️🤭
👥 Dorothy Mwakalindile Guest Sep 26, 2016
I don't trip over things; I do random gravity checks. 🌍😅
👥 Sultan Guest Sep 21, 2016
This one really got me, what a punchline! 😆
👥 Ruth Kibona Guest Sep 17, 2016
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. 🚉🤔
👥 Joyce Nkya Guest Sep 13, 2016
I told myself I should stop drinking, but I'm not about to listen to a drunk who talks to himself. 🍻🗣️
👥 Saidi Guest Sep 11, 2016
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 📅🙅‍♂️
👥 Kazija Guest Sep 11, 2016
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! ☕🚔
👥 Anthony Kariuki Guest Sep 8, 2016
If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙
👥 Mwajabu Guest Aug 31, 2016
I want to be like a caterpillar: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and wake up beautiful. 🦋🍴
👥 Hekima Guest Aug 30, 2016
The bags under my eyes are Chanel. 👜😂
👥 George Tenga Guest Aug 22, 2016
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️
👥 Lydia Mahiga Guest Aug 12, 2016
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗
👥 Chum Guest Aug 7, 2016
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. 🙈😜
👥 Mary Njeri Guest Jul 17, 2016
Why did the robot go on vacation? It needed to recharge! 🤖🔌
👥 Edward Lowassa Guest Jul 14, 2016
Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you. 🤣📞
👥 Alice Mwikali Guest Jul 1, 2016
😂 I’m sending this to everyone I know!
👥 Grace Minja Guest Jun 28, 2016
This joke deserves an award! 🏆
👥 Francis Njeru Guest Jun 25, 2016
What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy! ⛄🐕
👥 Lucy Mahiga Guest Jun 21, 2016
You know you’re an adult when you get excited about things like ‘cleaning supplies.’ 🧼🛒
👥 Joseph Kitine Guest Jun 17, 2016
I’m not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that? 😎🔧
👥 Samson Tibaijuka Guest Jun 15, 2016
I run like the winded. 🏃‍♀️😮‍💨
👥 David Chacha Guest Jun 4, 2016
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved! 🌊👋
👥 Sarah Karani Guest Jun 1, 2016
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪
👥 Betty Cheruiyot Guest Jun 1, 2016
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅
👥 Sharifa Guest May 29, 2016
😆 That punchline!
👥 Juma Guest May 17, 2016
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools! 🐠🏫
👥 Nancy Akumu Guest May 16, 2016
🤣 That punchline was unexpected!
👥 Zuhura Guest May 14, 2016
Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. 🤔💬
👥 Zakaria Guest May 13, 2016
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
👥 Mwachumu Guest May 7, 2016
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple! 🐱💜
👥 Tabitha Okumu Guest May 7, 2016
I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas. 💡😎
👥 Samuel Were Guest May 1, 2016
Why don’t lobsters ever share? They’re too shellfish! 🦞🙅‍♂️
👥 Nchi Guest Apr 23, 2016
How do you know the ocean is friendly? It waves! 🌊👋
👥 Nahida Guest Apr 22, 2016
Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish! 🥜🐙
👥 Lucy Wangui Guest Apr 17, 2016
If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. 🍋👁️
👥 Charles Mchome Guest Apr 16, 2016
😁 Definitely my new go-to joke!
👥 Patrick Mutua Guest Apr 16, 2016
Haha, this joke is a keeper! 📌
👥 Charles Wafula Guest Mar 31, 2016
Why don’t koalas count as bears? They don’t have the koalifications! 🐨🎓
👥 Abubakari Guest Mar 31, 2016
The only thing better than talking about food is eating it. 🍔🍴

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