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Grace Mushi
Guest
Mar 25, 2019
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing. 🏃♂️😴
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Hellen Nduta
Guest
Mar 10, 2019
I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 💔😂
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Faiza
Guest
Mar 7, 2019
It’s not that I’m lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😂
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Benjamin Masanja
Guest
Feb 22, 2019
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 🤷♂️🤔
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Ndoto
Guest
Feb 14, 2019
I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. 🏝️🕶️
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Fatuma
Guest
Feb 5, 2019
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. 🤷♂️😎
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Khatib
Guest
Feb 4, 2019
If you can't remember my name, just say 'chocolate' and I'll turn around. 🍫🙋♀️
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Agnes Sumaye
Guest
Feb 2, 2019
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it! 💧🔥
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Rose Mwinuka
Guest
Jan 26, 2019
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. 🌞🌙
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Moses Kipkemboi
Guest
Jan 23, 2019
Why do they call it 'beauty sleep' when you wake up looking like a troll? 😴👹
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Esther Cheruiyot
Guest
Jan 13, 2019
I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 😬🧸
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Ruth Kibona
Guest
Dec 30, 2018
I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing. 😎👩💼
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Zulekha
Guest
Dec 27, 2018
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳👖
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Wilson Ombati
Guest
Dec 24, 2018
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! 🍈💍
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Grace Mushi
Guest
Dec 8, 2018
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. 📖💼
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Thomas Mtaki
Guest
Nov 22, 2018
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃♂️
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Baridi
Guest
Oct 26, 2018
🤣 Sending this now!
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Nicholas Wanjohi
Guest
Oct 24, 2018
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 😴💤
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John Malisa
Guest
Oct 24, 2018
Why don’t basketball players ever go on vacation? They’re afraid of traveling! 🏀✈️
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Mary Njeri
Guest
Oct 8, 2018
I love my computer because my friends live in it. 💻💖
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Peter Tibaijuka
Guest
Oct 5, 2018
Dear math, I’m not a therapist. Solve your own problems. 📚🤯
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Abubakari
Guest
Sep 30, 2018
If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴
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Omar
Guest
Sep 27, 2018
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 🍇🍷
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Thomas Mwakalindile
Guest
Sep 23, 2018
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 🪂🤣
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Joseph Mallya
Guest
Sep 23, 2018
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 💼💸
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Tabu
Guest
Sep 19, 2018
If my jeans could talk, they’d say, 'Stop eating!' 👖🍕
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Alice Mrema
Guest
Sep 17, 2018
😆 This one really got me!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! 🥯🌊
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Francis Mtangi
Guest
Aug 29, 2018
I don’t procrastinate; I reschedule. 🗓️😜
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Tambwe
Guest
Aug 17, 2018
I'm not short. I'm just concentrated awesome! 👌😂
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Charles Mchome
Guest
Jul 26, 2018
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose! 🐄🦶
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Arifa
Guest
Jul 16, 2018
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯🤪
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Kevin Maina
Guest
Jul 3, 2018
I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 🛏️💇♂️
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Lucy Wangui
Guest
Jul 1, 2018
I'm on the 'I-just-ate' diet. It's working perfectly. 🍕💪
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Maida
Guest
Jun 28, 2018
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange! 🧛♂️🍊
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John Mwangi
Guest
Jun 10, 2018
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat. 🧍♂️🍔
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Agnes Njeri
Guest
Jun 9, 2018
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! 🥕🐰👓
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Mariam Kawawa
Guest
Jun 1, 2018
Coffee: because adulting is hard. ☕👨💼
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Hekima
Guest
Jun 1, 2018
🤣 Didn’t see it coming!
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Fadhila
Guest
May 7, 2018
I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. 🤕🏠
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Faiza
Guest
May 6, 2018
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crumby! 🍪🏥
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Azima
Guest
May 3, 2018
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. 🕒✈️
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Selemani
Guest
May 1, 2018
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅
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Edward Chepkoech
Guest
Apr 30, 2018
😂 I’m saving this one!
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Hellen Nduta
Guest
Apr 25, 2018
I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. 🍩😂
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Jane Malecela
Guest
Apr 15, 2018
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals! 🐸👡
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Ann Awino
Guest
Apr 6, 2018
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀🤣
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Dorothy Mwakalindile
Guest
Apr 2, 2018
Why don’t birds use Facebook? They already tweet! 🐦🐤
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Paul Kamau
Guest
Mar 24, 2018
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court? Odor in the court! 🦨⚖️
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Alice Mrema
Guest
Mar 14, 2018
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m gaining weight. 🍕📏
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Rose Kiwanga
Guest
Mar 10, 2018
😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!
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Arifa
Guest
Mar 9, 2018
Why did the man take his clock to the vet? It had ticks! 🕰️🐾
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Zainab
Guest
Mar 8, 2018
I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 🛌😬
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Mashaka
Guest
Mar 2, 2018
I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once. 🎧🤔
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Yusuf
Guest
Feb 21, 2018
When nothing goes right, go left. ⬅️💡
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Charles Mchome
Guest
Feb 21, 2018
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? 🛌💤
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Violet Mumo
Guest
Feb 1, 2018
How does a polar bear build its house? Igloos it together! 🐻❄️🏠
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Robert Okello
Guest
Jan 31, 2018
How do trees access the internet? They log in! 🌲💻
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Shabani
Guest
Jan 28, 2018
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks! 🐔🥁
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Grace Njuguna
Guest
Jan 27, 2018
Monday should be optional. 😴⏳
